Funny Dirty Blonde Jokes

November 16, 2010
By Jaque Moss

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A: They can't remember the number.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside? A: She grabs a bowl.

Q: How do you get rid of blondes? A: Form a circle, give each blonde a gun, and tell them they are a firing squad.

Q: How do you drown a blond? A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee

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